When a relationship breaks up both parties are affected though it might seem that women get a lot of empathy and support and there is not much in the way of breakup advice for men.
After all, men tend to be more reticent when it comes to talking about personal issues. Relationship help for men does not seem as readily available as it does for women. And when it comes to talking about their marriage problems, their relationship issues or break up advice for men – it seems men muddle through it by themselves, or walk away from their problems.
This is so different to how women handle their relationship problems. They can reach out to family members and friends, or talk things through over a cup of coffee, they can seek advice from other women and sometimes, just talking things through with another person can do a world of good.
How Do Men Deal With Breaking Up?
Dealing with breakups for men can be very tough especially if you are still in love with your partner and she was the one that dumped you.
You will hurt, you will feel extreme pain at the loss of your relationship, you might even being to harbor feelings of getting revenge on your ex, or take to stalking her by phone or in person. It is not uncommon to feel this especially if you don’t know how to overcome rejection.
These are feelings that you may experience, even the extremely unpleasant ones because this is what the emotion of love can do to us as humans.
You will also experience the urge to get back together with your ex. You might l start thinking about how to get your ex girlfriend back and become obsesses with thoughts of how to win her back.
It’s easy to make the first move, if you were the one that broke up but she might have moved on. However, if your girlfriend ended the relationship, don’t waste too much time trying to figure out how to make your ex want you back – she might not feel the same way, especially if she ended it.
Even if you are thinking of getting back together, you might want to consider some of the points below, which allow you get some space and give you some time for clearing your head. Only then, if you still feel the same strong desire to get back again, can you begin to think about how you will approach her.
However, if the split is permanent, then you will want to get through your breakup with dignity.
The following tips and break up advice for men might help:
Avoid contact with your ex
Avoid all forms of contact with your ex, at least initially, when the pain is so raw. With the passing of time, these raw feelings will subside but until then, do not visit, call, email or text your ex and avoid hanging out with friends you both know or in places you both frequent.
Pour your heart out
As a man, you are less likely to discuss your breakup with a buddy or even a family member. Nonetheless, you are going through a multitude of feelings and emotions right now and need to get these out of your head.
Writing a letter to your ex is the best way to pour out everything you are feeling. So, write it all down. If you want to say nasty things to her, say them on paper. Tell her how she made you feel.
Don’t worry, she is never going to see this letter. It’s not for anyone’s eyes but yours.
Once you have written it, you’ll rip it up or burn it. Do whatever feels right to you but destroy it.
You will experience a feeling of calm, and an emptiness that was not there before. You will feel lighter and clearer for it.
Return all of her belongings
Once you have written and destroyed that letter, you will probably feel as though you want to move forward with your life now. The best way of doing this is to go through the belongings you have and to separate hers out.
Box all of your ex’s possessions and arrange for her to come and pick them up - you don’t have to be there.
Get rid of any reminders and keepsakes
If photos, videos, mementoes of places you both visited are too painful to keep, ask your ex if she wants them and if not, then throw them away.
Sort out joint finances
Depending on how long your relationship was, you might have both bought property together, have joint bank accounts and
loans. Sort out all finances as soon as possible as these things can get messy if left unsorted for too long.
Time for clearing
Once you have removed all personal items and sorted out your finances, you’ve reached the end point of the break up stage.
You are both out of each other’s lives and your life should now contain no traces of your ex.
Give yourself a month or so now where you make a concerted effort not to contact her at all – you should have no need to contact her now if all personal and financial effects have been sorted out.
The only reason you might resort to calling her now is if you start to slip back into feeling sorry for yourself and start thinking about your ex….and start thinking maybe you’d like to get back together again. Hence, the reason for giving yourself a clear month or so when you have no contact at all.
During this time, make a concerted effort to start going out with your buddies again and work colleagues, family and other friends.
After a month of this, you will find that you hardly ever spend much time wallowing over your break up and any memories you have of it and your ex are pleasant ones but they are just that: memories. You don’t feel the need or the urge to get back together again.
Only then, can you safely consider yourself to be over your girlfriend and ready to move forward with your life.
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