Good practical marriage advice for men deals with the tactical issues surrounding a day to day life with your wife.
We’re not going to give you any relationship tips for men here – nothing to do with how you should be attentive and listen and empathize with her when you get back after a long day at work, because she has been at home for twelve hours with four kids.
No, here we cover some not-so-romantic marriage help for men tips:
Sharing The Work, The Money, The Love
Divide out the chores that must be done around the home and don’t leave it all to your wife.
If you have a lawn, this needs to be looked after.
The house also needs to be looked after and unless you have a maid who will keep the house clean for you 24/7 and cook meals, and iron your clothes, you must realise that if you and your wife are both working – then it is unfair of you to expect her to clean up everything when she is at home.
Even if you are the breadwinner and you both decided that your wife would stay at home to raise the kids, you must realize that raising children is a full-time job in itself.
Your wife is not “doing nothing” just because she has been at home with a 9 month old, a 2 year old and a 4 year old.
Many couples do not share this responsibility and it can lead to problems later on down the road, especially as children are growing and your expenses grow too.
Even if your wife is not earning, it is still a good idea for you both to draw up a monthly sheet of expenses and earnings. Write down how much you spend on food, bills, children’s clubs, clothes, cable TV, presents and so on.
Money can cause such serious relationship problems so it makes perfect sense to be on top of your finances – as a couple.
Don’t keep this away from your wife.
It’s important that she understands where each penny is going and how much you are bringing in so that she can do her bit to try and save when doing the grocery shopping, for example.
Also in this section you need to discuss how much of your money is in a joint account and how much you can spend each.
If your wife is not earning, she is still doing a lion’s share of the “work” in raising the children – although she is not earning an income doing this. Will you give her a monthly allowance so that she can buy things that the children might need during the month? Or do you expect her to come to you and ask for money each time she needs something?
These issues are so easy to overlook and ignore but can cause problems such a debt and deceit in a relationship if left unchecked. That’s why is is the right thing to be open and upfront about money from the beginning.
Before you get married, you must discuss the topic of children and make sure you both agree on the same things. Your relationship is going to be in for a roller-coaster ride if your wife wanted to have children and you don’t.
Don’t expect her to change her mind.
It’s important to know beforehand, how many children you each want to have, what the gap between the children will be, what your plans for childcare will be – are you both happy for your wife to be the main carer and to give up her career? Or will you both work and rely on, and pay for, childcare?
Being married is not about spending every minute of your life together.
Having time away with other friends is good and makes for a healthier relationship but these things need to be discussed upfront.
Otherwise your wife might detest it is you decide, by yourself, that every Wednesday night is your night out with the boys.
Deciding how much time is okay for you both to spend alone, away from each other, with your respective friends and family.
Sex – how often?
Men often assume women will always want it and women can’t understand why men never tire of it.
Although you may not want to discuss it, you might benefit from having a talk about how often, what type of sex and so on is acceptable. When children come, sex tends to be pushed much further down the list for women (if it doesn’t disappear off the list altogether).
Love advice for men is not always geared towards showering her with love, flower and taking her to candlelit dinners. Offering to help with the housework, cooking dinner, spending some time with the children so that your wife can have some quality “me-time” to herself, this is the stuff which helps strengthen your married life.
If you found this information useful, we encourage you to check out our other articles which also offer relationship help for men which can help you to know what women want.
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