getting over a break-up

Getting over a broken heart is never easy.  True, for some people, a breakup might be only a temporary event, they figured out how to win someone back and in doing so fixed their broken heart.

Unfortunately, for many, a break up is permanent.

Knowing how to deal with a break up can make your pain a little lighter but often your emotions tend to cast everything in a bad light so trying to lift yourself out of your misery will feel difficult to do.

It is a pain that consumes you, that envelopes you, that stifles you and stays with you – until something else or someone else can make you forget the pain of your lost love.

But until you hit that point surviving relationship loss is like learning to cope with bereavement. Of course, with bereavement, the person has actually died and this type of pain is life-changing. It is acceptable for people to seek help and get counseling after the death of a loved one.

Not many people would think to look for counseling to show them how to get through a break up when in fact relationship counseling might help you to move on quicker once a relationship has ended.

Coping with a relationship that has ended, and where you are still in love with your partner, is still a tragic loss although not as final as death. Somehow, it feels like death to you because that person will no longer be in your life.

Surviving the breakup of a relationship can engulf you in a myriad of emotions. You will experience a sense of shock, numbness, denial, feel unworthy, angry – these are the initial stages of grief.

Later on, once you have accepted that the relationship is over, you might be in a place where you can understand what happened and seek to rebuild your life again.

How To Get Over a Breakup

The way you learn how to deal with a broken heart find out how to get over a breakup – is to actually move on and carry on.

Meaning, your day to day life still has to go on.
You have to go to work, or raise your children, whatever it is you do – still has to be done. The bills have to be paid, you still need to get the groceries, you still need to earn money and you still need to go out with your friends and learn to laugh again.

These normal, routine, everyday things are things that will help you get over a breakup. They will direct your attention elsewhere instead of allowing you to wallow in memories of the relationship that has ended.

Moving on, means that once you have gone through the initial stages of a breakup (the anger, denial, shock), you will come to that slightly calmer place where you can take a step back at your relationship and seek to understand why it had to end. This stage comes right after you have accepted that the relationship is over.

If you have let go of the relationship, chances are you won’t be experiencing the shock as much as your partner, especially if he or she did not see the breakup coming.

In fact, we have endless songs, love poems, films and TV dramas that reflect unrequited love and broken relationships that both leave a trail of broken hearts and destruction in their midst.

For some, looking back after a difficult relationship breakup, can actually give them an inner strength that they never knew they possessed.

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