how to survive a breakupCountless books and songs have been written on how to cure a broken heart and just as many have been written on how to win someone back.

Coping with a breakup and dealing with the pain of a broken heart is only known to those who have experienced it. Unless your heart has been broken, you won’t know the acute misery and sharp pain of a broken heart.

In fact for many, dealing with physical pain is much easier to handle than the emotional pain of a marriage breakup or relationship loss.

With a physical pain such as a headache or sore throat, the solution is tangible and exists: take some medicine and you will feel better. At least, temporarily until your body starts to heal itself.

How to deal with a broken heart? Now that’s a different thing altogether.

With a broken heart there is no band aid or magic pill that will take your pain away. Not even temporarily.

For some, getting over a long-term relationship or dealing with a marriage break up can take many years and be so painful that some people never learn how to get over a bad break up such as this.

Where children are involved, the breakup of the relationship impacts not just the couple but their children and severely disrupts the family unit.

The results of a divorce where there are children can have ramifications further down the line, for example when one or both of the ex-partners remarry and then there might be step-children to consider as well.

Surviving a long-term relationship is never easy, but surviving marriage breakup can really be a tough thing to endure.

Whatever type of relationship you had, the best way to get over a break up is initially to take a step towards acknowledging your painful feelings and actually feeling the pain. You have to live through this pain. When you have felt and endured this pain, you will come to accept that the relationship is over and only at this point will you be able to take a step back and begin to take steps in moving on again.

How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?

Whilst you may not be able to take a pain relief pill to heal your broken heart immediately, there are some steps you can take towards the healing process.

Firstly, you need to experience all the feelings, nasty and as painful as they may be.

Denying your feelings at this stage is one of the worst things you can do because like a pent-up air in a pressure cooker, your feelings will need release at some point. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that these feelings will go away – because they won’t.

So, deal with them now while the pain is raw.

The types of feelings you will experience will range from cynicism, anger, sadness and depression and a multitude of feelings on that spectrum.

You must find the courage within yourself to face this emotional pain and to experience it fully.

You will go through something like the following 5 stages of grief:

  • Denial
  • Bargaining/Praying/Looking for resolution
  • Anger
  • Despair/Depression
  • Acceptance

Now that you know what these stages are, let yourself go through them and you will come out the other end a stronger person, with your healing process complete.

Remember that going through these 5 stages of grief, whilst painful, will lead you to the light at the other end of the tunnel.  It is only when you come out that your pain will be gone, or not as sharp as it was before and you will be ready for new experiences again.

You can read more about the 5 stages of grief which were the result of the work of Elizabeth Kubler Ross.

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