getting over a break up

If you want to know how to get over your ex then realize you may not be in for a pleasant or easy time ahead.  It is possible to win someone back, but sadly, this is not always possible.

However, the fact that you have come to this conclusion means that you have realised it is time to move forward with your life and that there is no hope for you to get back together again.

Good on you.

You may not think it but you have made progress already.

You see, many people, who have just broken up with their boyfriend or girlfriend, still hold on to the hope that the split is only temporary. They cling to the hope that they will soon get back together again. Their minds become pre-occupied with thoughts of how to get back with ex.

Is this you?
Do you find yourself wondering how to get your ex boyfriend back or how to get your ex-girlfriend back?

This wishing and longing can be a bad thing – especially if your partner has no desire to get back with you. Therefore, you are longing for something which is not really going to happen. Do you really want to know how to get your girlfriend back if she was the one who ended the relationship?

Believe it or not, some people can spend months, if not years, in this type of limbo. Unable to move forward with their lives because they are “waiting” to get back together with their ex, and yet still extremely unhappy with their life because it is not going anywhere.

Getting Over Your Ex

The fact that you are asking how do you get over your ex shows that even though you want to get over your ex, you are still helpless and don’t know how to.

That’s OK. Knowing how to get over a breakup is not knowledge that we are born with.
It’s something that we learn.

Here’s what you need to remember:

No matter how long you were with your ex, whether it was a short term romance or a long-relationship, there is still going to be an element of pain at your loss.

So, accept this and feel the pain.

Do not:

  • keep on reminding yourself of the good times you once had
  • keep looking at old photographs of the two of you
  • keep on talking about your ex to everyone you see

Try to:

  • avoid friends who knew both of you (at least for a while). They will only ask you how you are getting along and might even have seen your ex, which is only going to be another source of pain
  • remove all photos and visual reminders of your ex (for now at least)
  • avoid visiting places (restaurants etc) that you both liked

What you are doing is to minimize your exposure to memories and people and places that are related to your ex.

Out of sight out of mind – well, this kind of applies here to an extent too.

More importantly don’t let your mind wander to thoughts of getting back together with your ex or how to get revenge on your ex.

These two extremes will bring you nothing but more pain.
Besides, you wanted to know how to get over your ex, right?

No point in trying to dwell on thoughts of getting back again.

Sometimes, when you think there is no hope, that you might never meet anyone again, when you can’t summon up the energy to go out with your friends and enjoy life again…your mind will drift to what is safe and familiar and you might find yourself thinking of reasons to get back again.


You broke up once, maybe twice, maybe more times.

Why keep on getting back into this vicious circle?

Moving On With Your Life

Thinking of the future can be a great motivator because instead of thinking how to get through a break up, it focuses you mind and attention on the future and the new people, places and experiences you have before you. Future thinking is always much preferable to reflecting on the past, especially if the memories of that past are painful.

You don’t have to head straight back into another relationship.
Maybe now would be a good time to renew your social life again and to hang out with your friends.

Related Articles for Breaking Up & Making Up:

Why Breaking Up Makes You Feel So Bad